Okay so for context I’m a 20yr old guitarist, been playing for about five years and the idea of making a band and putting music out there has been in my mind since I figured it’s actually possible for me to do so.
Thing is I’m such a perfectionist that I always wind up self sabotaging myself into not doing anything for fear of it not being good enough
I don’t know if it’s that or the fact that I don’t know what the hell I should be aiming for. I feel competetent enough at the instrument and I’ve been taking Jazz harmony lessons for almost a year now, so I don’t feel I have anything limiting me.
Im a two time college drop out (2nd time due to ‘rona) so I figured I should take a gap year to make music but the only thing Ive had since I took the decision is crippling anxiety and fearing I will end up losing the year for not getting anything done.
I also have a bunch of material (say ideas for lyrics, chord progressions and some melody lines) but I cant tie them up for the life of me. It’s absurd how hard it is for me to do this. It’s like I’m doing something wrong or there’s something broken inside of me. Hell I’ve thought of quitting altogether but that I don’t want to do.
Yes Ive been going to therapy but I want insight from actual musicians as well.
I’m sorry if it sounds like word salad but I guess I’m anxious right now and don’t have anyone to talk to so Im screaming into the void hoping someone anwsers back.